Self-Healing: Integrating Intense Emotions

woman integrating intense emotions by smiling

Self-Healing? I always thought I would have need to learn how to heal others. As “I am totally fine.” I thought I would have need to deal with others, with my environment, with friends, bosses, partners and family. I didn’t see myself as part of it all. I didn’t know what interconnectedness or interdependency meant. I didn’t know what it meant to be the creator of my own happiness and healing.

Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.⠀⠀⠀

Lao Tzu

My wakeup call was a moment where I got yelled at “Diego, I’m not responsible for your happiness!” In this moment I couldn’t think, breathe or speak. I was in shock. Wait what? My partner is not responsible for my happiness? Of course they are! They need to make me happy, that’s why I chose to be in this relationship! So the job of my partner is to love me, to take care of me and to make me feel good!”

Nope. That’s not what a conscious relationship is about. However, I needed to learn the hard way, my partner left me just little after this comment. I was devastated, completely lost, in tears and self-pity a lot. I felt alone. I was so emotionally attached to my partner. And so to my friends and family. I got scared I might lose them too.


Letting Go and Acceptance

It took almost all my power to hold all of my social network together, I felt anxious it could crumble or fall apart. Then I learned, that I wouldn’t need to fix my external world at all. This was just a Sisyphean task. Just like that. It depletes, deflates and is just impossible, at least for me. So, the external world just helps as a magnificent mirror.

When I get triggered by external conditions/people and I point my index finger at them to judge them, 3 fingers are actually pointing back to me. And that can be one of the Aha-moments on our journey of Self-realization. I then ask myself:

  • “What does that mean to me?
  • “What exactly inside of me is triggered?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
  • “Where in the body can I feel what kind of sensation?”

Breathing in and out slowly and steadily. (Look up my meditation practice here)

Awareness on the body reactions.


There’s nothing more to be done.

This simple awareness will expand the consciousness.

No self-judgment needed.

Hold Yourself with Compassion⠀⠀⠀

Next time, when I’m in a similar situation where I get triggered, I’m then more aware of the trigger and can hold space for myself with more compassion. This is how I grow. This is how we can come back to a wholesome state, or natural state. Sahaja Nishta.

Once we integrated our triggers or shadows successfully in our system, the respective emotion and energy will get harmonised and balanced. The emotion will transmute into a healing potion that will transform our wound into a source of our super powers.

What are your thoughts on that?

If you don’t know yet how to understand and integrate your triggers, feel free to reach out for a 1:1 life coaching or reiki session.

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